


'Like He Never Left.'

by Tavu



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Zayn Leaves One Direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 12:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tavu/pseuds/Tavu
Summary: Zayn's side of leaving everything behind.





	'Like He Never Left.'

  
  
  
  


**_Zayn Malik, has apparently left One Direction._**  
_Yes you read it right. Part of the world's biggest_ _boyband_ _for almost five years now, Zayn's decided to leave the band. The fans have been devastated with the news and the news has triggered reactions, negative and positive. Most of the reactions include the fans crying and cussing. Some fans have even started boycotting Zayn and are going pretty hard at him._

_Not only that, when approached the other Mates, Niall had nothing to say except a shrug, Louis, well he wasn't very happy about it and kept it short with a "We'll be fine.", Liam who looked concerned and panicked tried covering it up with a "He's our brother and he'll always be that." And Harry Styles, well Harry styles had a different reaction to it, Harry looked like he'd been crying, his eyes were rimmed red and all he said was "It's over." And crashed on the floor, unconscious._

Zayn sits up on his bed with a trembling gasp leaving his mouth. He heaves and heaves for a few seconds and closes his eyes again.

_Breathe Zayn, in and out._

Zayn hears the bathroom door unlock, he cracks his eyes open.  
Harry stands before him, with a towel round his waist, water drops trickling down his long curls, taking their time to slide lazily from his broad shoulders to his small back. Harry with his bright green eyes, shining at Zayn, like Zayn is the fucking Sun, reflecting in Harry's eyes.

"You okay babe?" Harry furrows his brow.   
"Yeah." Zayn nods

"You sure?"

"Yes Harry." Zayn tries a smile to convince Harry.

Harry smiles back, a little weary but a smile.

" You should go shower Zayn, they're calling us to the studio for the recording."

"Recording, right." Zayn feels his throat close up, tight and painful. His mind turning into a whirlwind of nothingness.

Zayn remembers feeling a surge of adrenaline rush through his body at the thought of recording.

He remembers giving his everything to a line he was given, listening to the directors, following them, giving them what they wanted. Trying and trying and trying.

He remembers his heart vibrating with every word he sang, every careful note he was given, his heart racing at getting the note correct, _listening to the directors._

He remembers clenching his fist, hard and tight, smoking until his hand fell loose, and his heart reduced to a dull thud under his bones, when he couldn't get a note right. He tried that day, tried and tried, _listening to the directors._

He remembers experimenting once, when the careful notes were no more a clench to his beating heart, just something he could do with a newly found ease. He tried to experiment then, carefully putting bits of him into the note, a little _raag_ here and there, and it felt good, it felt so good, Zayn practically jumped.

"Did you see that John? Did you hear that? It was good right!" Zayn smiled so bright, he thought his jaw would ache with it.

John smiled back, "It was. But I'm afraid mate that's not gonna go with the others' style of singing and the song overall. I'm sorry mate."

Zayn recorded it again then, just like John wanted, and wondered if John could hear his voice breaking with every word he sang, _he was listening to the directors._

"Zayn!" Harry shakes him.

"Huh!" Zayn looks at him startled, "Yeah I'm.. I'll go."

Harry smiles. "Such a dork." Zayn didn't bother smiling back anymore.

-

"I almost cracked up in the middle of my verse." Niall laughs.

"John must have been furious then!" Liam chimes in with wide eyes.

"Nah just told him I'd buy him food. Smiled like a bastard that one." 

Everyone laughs at that.

Harry nudges Zayn.

And Zayn looks up, Harry mouths a "He's crazy" pointing at Niall and Zayn smiles back, just to show he was listening, he wasn't.

Zayn finally glances around, and looks at four of them, laughs and smiles, jokes and playful digs, fondness and love.

And it tears a piece of Zayn's numb heart away, thinking how none of them can see it, see how Zayn's _crumbling_ , slowly and painfully, crumbling from a whole person to nothingness.

Zayn wonders how none of them hears, how his voice breaks with every word he sings, a little weak each day.

He wonders how none of them can smell it, smell how Zayn reeks of cigarettes more than himself.

He wonders how none of them ask him if he's okay, if he's okay with giving up pieces of him, to songs he didn't write and tunes he didn't compose.

How none of them spare a glance to the dent in his middle finger, an evidence of him pouring his heart out to a page, scribbled words that cry to be heard, words that threaten to destroy Zayn if he keeps them buried inside anymore, words that bleed because of the number of times they've been neglected with emotionless shrugs.

Zayn smiles, empty and hollow.

-

 ** _Zayn Malik has left One direction!_**  
_The_ _hearthrob_ _from the world's biggest boy band has separated from the band. And his sudden departure has sparked all kinds of reactions. Mostly fans crying their eyes out._

 _On being asked, his mates however, denied having any knowledge of it. They said they thought he was lonely and sad but they didn't see it coming. They hadn't seen any signs of him not being happy._  
_Coming forward Harry Styles said, "I wish I could have helped him. It obviously makes you sad learning you couldn't help them. I'd like to ask people who go through battles like these everyday to please talk about it." His words came out slow and wobbly._  
_We hope Zayn knows the direction he's headed in and succeeds. Mind the pun._

Zayn folds the newspaper and closes his eyes, _Breathe Zayn, in and out._

**Author's Note:**

> This one was painful to write. I love Zayn so much. ❤️


End file.
